Well, we are currently in the middle of week #6 of the Forge! I figured it was time for another update. So here it goes...
This past week we took a trip to a land far far away (and one that I cannot tell you... because several of you reading this may do the Forge one day). We were told to pack our bags for a week with certain items in our bags and told to be in the vans by 6 am Monday morning. The only information you need to know about the trip is simply that I was privileged to be put in the midst of several very influential people.
God revealed many things to me over this short span of 4 days. I learned a lot about how often I feel entitled... this entitlement collided with the entitlement of others and it was not pretty. Seeing how the selfish desires of others made me very frustrated because their selfish desires were constantly impeding upon my own selfish desires. For once, I found myself as an outsider looking in and saw what I look like so much of the time. My consumerism, selfishness, entitlement, covetousness, and desire for significance.
I saw how badly our consumer oriented church has fallen into many idolatries... and found myself as a central character. In the Christian culture, we put so many people on a pedestal and deem them as Church celebrities. I have found myself being guilty much of the time of desiring to be a significant figure within the church for my own selfish purposes. Satan is so good at twisting something that was originally pure. I really do desire to glorify the Lord alone and do all things for Him. But I so easily believe "the hype" that people feed me about myself and find myself desiring the respect and adoration of others rather than my God alone. This is ooo so dangerous! I heard Chuck Swindoll recently say that "success is very dangerous" for leadership within the Church. We so easily desire superiority and adoration.
I am realizing how often I need to remind myself of Paul's words to the Corinthians...
"For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”- I Cor. 4:5-7
Just thought I would share one of the many things God is currently revealing to me about my evil heart. It is very tough to see how twisted our hearts are at times... but I am very encouraged that God is consuming my impurities (Hebrews 12:26-29). He desires my full attention and service... He does not want to be #1 in my life... because that means there is a #2. He should be my all.
“Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?” –Isaiah 2:22
